


Литературный Оргазм

by KakyouiNoriaki (orphan_account)



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: I'm Sorry, M/M, This is, Uhh so y'all know that video of the girl reading a story with a vibrator, also, i just needed to get this out before the draft gets deleted, the first chapter doesn't really have any porn sorry, this is like that, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-10-15 00:22:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10546860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/KakyouiNoriaki
Summary: (Литературный Оргазм means Literary Orgasm - the title of the original video)Based off of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jx85BMabGmw.





	

**Author's Note:**

> good god what am i doing with my life  
> i could be productive  
> but no  
> i decide to write porn

**―TSUKUMOYA-SAN HAS ENTERED THE CHAT―**

Tsukumoya: Hey, everyone.

<Private Mode> Tsukumoya: Yo, Izaya.

<Private Mode> Kanra: What is it? You never talk this early.

<Private Mode> Tsukumoya: Is that a bit of hostility I sense? Well, anyways, I just wanted to show you a video.

<Private Mode> Tsukumoya: I'm sure you'll like it, it's about humans and their response to certain things.

<Private Mode> Tsukumoya: Well, to be exact, it's a she.

<Private Mode> Kanra: Well, aren't you gonna send it?

<Private Mode> Tsukumoya: Never took you for the impatient type. At any rate, here it is: **[** **LINK]**

<Private Mode> Tsukumoya: Oh yeah, it's in Russian too. Not that you'll have a problem with that, I just wanted to point it out.

<Private Mode> Kanra: ....was this an excuse to send me porn?

<Private Mode> Tsukumoya: Of course not! I just thought you liked seeing people react to different situations.

<Private Mode> Kanra: There's always something more to you.......

<Private Mode> Tsukumoya: Fine, fine, you got me. I thought you would want to try it out yourself.

<Private Mode> Kanra: Somehow, I wish you didn't tell me that.

<Private Mode> Kanra: At any rate, I'm not interested in it.

<Private Mode> Kanra: There's also the lack of supplies.

<Private Mode> Kanra: And I'm pretty sure someone else has to have the... controller.

<Private Mode> Tsukumoya: Wow, you really thought it through. Maybe you actually do want to try it.

<Private Mode> Kanra: What would I gain from that?

<Private Mode> Tsukumoya: You wouldn't be a virgin anymore.

<Private Mode> Kanra: ..........

<Private Mode> Kanra: I'm leaving now.

<Private Mode> Kanra: As much as I would like to deal with your weird perverted fantasies, I have to work.

**  
ーKANRA-SAN HAS LEFT THE CHAT―**

  
Tsukumoya: You know, Kanra-chan, you're too predictable.

  
**―TSUKUMOYA-SAN HAS LEFT THE CHAT―**

**―THE CHAT ROOM IS CURRENTLY EMPTY―**  
**―THE CHAT ROOM IS CURRENTLY EMPTY―**  
**―THE CHAT ROOM IS CURRENTLY EMPTY―**

* * *

 

Izaya stared at his computer screen in slight disgust.

"Wow, I haven't seen that kind of face in a while," Namie joked from above.

"That Tsukumoya," Izaya said to himself, "I'm convinced there's something wrong with him."

"How funny, I thought the same about you," Namie smiled.

Izaya replied with a half-hearted sigh, and sat back in his chair. "By the way, it's Friday, so if you want, you can take the day off. Just know, when you get back, there'll be a lot of papers to sort."

"Oh, really? What about you? I'm not sure you know how to cook, and if you die before Monday, you won't be able to pay me."

"Don't worry about me, I already pick up most of my meals from Russian Sushi, since I can never tell if you poison your cooking or not."

"You underestimate me. I'd never dare add poison into your food. Anyways, I'm leaving now."

"See you next week," Izaya laughed lightly, watching her close the door from outside. He picked up one of his nearby phones, which had a new message. It seemed to be an automatic purchase confirmation, but he didn't remember buying anything online lately...

A firm knock at the door drew him back to reality.

"Ah, geez...did that woman seriously leave something?" He placed his coffee cup down on his desk, and got up to answer the door.

"Good afternoon, is Orihara Izaya-san currently here?" a short, young man stood outside of his apartment.

"Yes, that would be me," Izaya replied, with a half smile.

The delivery man looked more like a delivery boy, in Izaya's eyes. He had skin resembling soft cream, and his facial features complimented that perfectly.

"Please sign here to receive your package."

Izaya took the pen from the man and quickly wrote his name.

"Thank you very much, sir. Have a good day!" The man ran off quickly. It was obvious he had trouble talking to others properly. So then, why would he choose this job? 

Izaya set the package down on his table, and cut it open carefully with one of his knives. As he peered inside the box, he saw a long, dark silhouette cast on the wrapping paper. Upon unravelling the thin paper, he nearly choked on his coffee, and took a step back. "If this is what I think it is..." he began, "this was your work, wasn't it, Tsukumoya."

The offending object was now protruding out of the box's top, which rendered Izaya's attention unable to look at anything but  _that_.

"Hah, I'd say that you want me to do this more than I do. At any rate, even if I wanted to, there's still the lack of a helper."

As much as Izaya hated to admit it, he was secretly enjoying every minute of this, especially now that he could check off one of the items on his list.

"Now, all I need is someone to control it.…" 

Knowing Tsukumoya, Izaya figured that he'd hack into the controller and do it himself. However, Izaya (much to his dismay) had never met him in person, which left a lot of information out in his analysis. So of course, when he heard the all too familiar banging on his door, he wasn't sure what to think. 

"IZAYAA!! BASTARD, I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!" Shizuo yelled.

On one hand, he had all the supplies, but on the other, _Shizuo_.

"Wait, those are both good reasons…" Izaya told himself, and got up to get the door.

However, he was already too late; the instant he pushed himself off his chair, Shizuo kicked the door in with a loud thud as it hit the floor.

"Izzzayaaaaaa-kuuuuunnn........" Shizuo said in a menacing voice, locating said man sitting in his chair.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I feel awful for leaving it off here, but if I don't post it the draft'll get deleted...anyways I promise next chapter will be definite lewd. (That is what I made this fic for, lol) Thank you all for reading!


End file.
